I have put myself in a bad position with my weight. The goal I set for myself starting this week – to lose 80 pounds in the next 52 weeks – isn’t the whole battle. When I reach that goal (see what I did with “when” there?) I will still have 45 pounds to get rid of. Yes, I am starting a ridiculous 125 pounds overweight.

How did I get this far gone? Well, my food choices are suspect, mainly because I don’t hardly eat anything green. Spinach, broccoli, and the occasional serving of collard greens are about the only green foods I eat. Most other vegetables I don’t eat not just because I am a diva and don’t want to eat them, some of them I cannot even stand the smell. Get me around peas, lima beans, carrots, cauliflower and green beans, and as soon as I smell them I’m about ready to upchuck. The smell is that bad to me. Besides that, I like too much fried food, breaded food – heck, I’ll even eat fried breaded bread. (Wait, I think that’s called “hush puppies.”) And of course, pizza. Tons and tons and tons of pizza. I could eat pizza every day for a month and not bat an eyelash.

Even worse than the food choices are the portion sizes. I haven’t the slightest clue how to eat a normal potion of food. I overdo it at every meal. Most people have that trigger in the stomach that tells the brain that it’s full. I don’t think I’ve ever had one. I have absolutely no control.

After I posted my goals earlier this week, I had several people inbox me with ideas to help. Some had products to recommend, others certain methods. While I’m grateful for the concern, I have to find my own way on this. Most of the prepared foods – Weight Watchers, NutrSystem, Jenny Craig, Herbalife, etc. – are beyond my budget. I’ve tried several of them and most of them work, but I just can’t afford to stay on them very long. I have to keep a very fresh image of the struggle I have in getting from point A to point B. When A and B are pretty much any distance, I am completely exhausted at the end. I have a fairly short walk to the bus stop every morning, but I’m completely winded by the time I get there. Getting to the Y to swim is very interesting. From my apartment to the Y is, for power walkers, about 5 minutes. For regular walkers, about 7 minutes. For me, it’s 10-11 minutes. I’m lugging so much excess weight, and the walk is all uphill – especially the entrance road to the Y parking lot, which is extremely steep. And when I’m in the pool, I can only go very short distances before I have to pull up and rest because I’m gasping for breath like I’ve just run a marathon.

So now I have to fight of some outlandish temptations. You know, like going on a hunger strike and try to lose 20 pounds in a month so I can swim and walk without getting so winded. I know with weight loss, slow and steady wins the race, and any crazy shortcuts usually backfire and you end up back where you started.

So if you really want to hold me accountable, ask me now and then how it’s going with eating reasonable portion sizes. That will be the key to me getting weight off at the beginning, and allow me to do more without needing an oxygen tank to keep going.