It will be harder to keep myself amused this week, with Auburn, The Evil Empire, and Charlotte all on byes. This is a good day to be out of pocket at a race & culture workshop. My church is hosting one. Let’s see what snarky remarks avail themselves to this week’s games.

Georgia vs. Florida (Jacksonville) – Called the world’s largest outdoor cocktail party. Rece Davis on ESPN game day last week said, “the cocktail party… oh, yeah, we’re not allowed to say that anymore… the rivalry!” What the crap is that all about? You can censor people’s words all you want, but they don’t change what’s happening. There will be about 100,000 people around the stadium, at least 50% of them will be drunk, most will go into the stadium, everyone will drink some more, and the game will go exactly as you would expect a game between the #3 team in the country vs. a fringe top 25 team. Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 31, Lizards 17

Tennessee at Kentucky – A terrible team against a team that can’t close out games. A better rallying cry for the winning team might be, “My whiskey is better than your whiskey!” Briars 23, Rocky Bottom 16

Ar-Kansas at Misipi – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Rebel Sharks 20, Pigs 19

Missouri at UConn – Is Mizzou getting a big check for this? Mizzou 26, UConn 24

Vanderbilt at South Carolina – Remember when Vandy was undefeated? Neither do I, but Vandy probably does. They haven’t won a game since. They’re not going to start again this week. Fightin’ Chickens 27, Vandy 13

Misipi St at Texas A&M – MSU is the Jacksonville Jags of the SEC. One week they’re killing people, the next week they’re stocking the Tyson farm with all the eggs they lay. Pattern indicates this is a down week. A&M 33, Misipi 21

BYE WEEK at ‘Bama – The LSU game suddenly looks interesting. Saban will cry and whine about LSU getting to play them coming off a bye, forgetting that his team is doing the same thing. The Evil Empire 0, BYE WEEK 0

BYE WEEK at Auburn – Good time for it, considering the O-linemen that are banged up and a stiff test in College Station next week. WAR EAGLE 0, BYE WEEK 0

BONUS: BYE WEEK at Charlotte – After spending the entire season trying to prove we were ranked 130 in the country, we up and beat my brother’s school. Hopefully the heads don’t get too big with a bye here to get us rusty before the Old Dominion game. 49ers 0, BYE WEEK 0

Last week’s record: 5-1
Season: 63-15