There is no way to accurately describe how depressing it is for an Auburn fan to watch the hated rival destroy the rest of the world year after year after year. Coach Clinched Butt-Cheeks is 65 years old. My only hope is that he will finally decide he will never please the father he never could – particularly because he’s dead – and decides to get fitted for a rocking chair, and that the university brass will be brilliant enough to sign the next Mike DuBose as the head coach. Until then, sales of Maalox and Pepto Bismol will continue to be strong. As for the games…
Misipi State at ‘Bama – I suppose we could do some game analysis, but why? We all know what’s going to happen. The game will be tight for about 20 minutes or so, and then the superior talent will run away and hide. Business as usual. The Evil Empire 45, Jerry Clower U 17
South Carolina at Florida – Both of these teams have been all over the place. Trying to figure out which version is going to show up is a crapshoot. In the case of Florida, I’m thinking the last 2 weeks are a trend as opposed to inconsistencies. Yeah, let’s go with that. I’m brimming with confidence, aren’t I? Fightin’ Chickens 27, Lizards 24
Vanderbilt at Missouri – More all-over-the-map teams. But these Tigers have really stepped up the last 2 weeks. Mizzou 26, Vandy 20
Kentucky at Tennessee – UK’s magical ride came crashing down last week. UT managed 20 yards rushing and 14 points against freaking Charlotte. (Thanks for the fat check and the confidence boost, guys.) Although UK never seems to run away from anyone, there’s no excuse for 4th quarter drama here. Briers 27, Rocky Bottom 10
Misipi at Texas A&M –I would hate to be an A&M player this week. Coach Jimmy-Joe-Bill-Bob has to be seething after they gagged away the Auburn game. The Rebels give up everything on defense. This could get spectacularly ugly, but I think it’s a track meet. Aggies 44, Misipi 28
LSU at Ar-Kansas – Now that they know they are pretenders, LSU can relax and destroy their border neighbors. LSU 33, Pigs 17
Auburn at Georgia – Auburn is back from the dead. UGA is going to the title game again. See what a big difference that is? By halftime, Gus & Co will be thinking about next week’s tilt with Jerry Falwell U. Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 38, war eagle 13
Charlotte at Marshall – The CBS 129 has my 49ers ranked 101, down 7 spots from last week, despite playing #71 Tennessee to a 14-3 loss. This week it’s at Marshall, who is ranked #70. To reach a bowl game, we need 2 wins over the 3 remaining games – the Herd, #77 Florida International and #86 Florida Atlantic. Helping the cause is #81 Southern Miss, who we already defeated. This week, however, I think Marshall’s powerful running game is too much even for our stout run defense. Thundering Herd 27, 49ers14
Last week’s record: 5-2
Season: 74-18
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