From off the top of my head, and other strange places…

  • Corporate memories: When I was working in a bank call center many years ago, I took a call from a customer who lived in Middlesex, North Carolina. That town name was worth a chuckle. As I finished the call, I heard my teammate in the next cube chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny, he said, “I just took a call from a customer in Climax, North Carolina.” You can’t make this stuff up.
  • What makes the Teflon stick to the pan?
  • Back in college, I several part-time jobs in the Work Study program. At one of these jobs, one of the regular patrons kept calling me Mark. When I pressed her for a reason, she said, “Well, you look like a Mark.” I never have, don’t, and never will understand how you can say someone “looks” like a name. Makes no bloody sense to me.
  • People always say, “I’m overwhelmed.” I want someone to speak up when they’re whelmed.
  • “Condo” is not short for “condominium.” It’s a word that describes how home builders con people out of more dough.
  • I am a grocery store stocker magnet. It does not matter what day or time I go grocery shopping, I always arrive just as the store’s entire stocking staff is pulling football field-sized pallets down the aisles to re-stock the shelves. And of course, they always park the pallets right in front of the one object on that aisle that I need to get. I wish I could convert this magnet to a lottery number determination magnet.
  • I believe global warming is real. I think there is considerable room for debate as to how much of it is natural vs human-created. I do not believe it is 100% human-created, but our activity has played a role. How much is what we have to figure out. I hate the sensationalism, like the commercial with the baby polar bear sitting on a piece of floating ice. The message is clear – this baby bear’s life is in danger because all the ice is melting. Polar bears can swim extremely well, far better and longer than humans can. Like many other issues we face, I wish both sides would cut down on the hysteria and dig for practical solutions.
  • If the doctor’s office can charge you a fee for cancelling your appointment 23 hours beforehand, why can’t we charge them a fee for making us wait an hour past our appointment time in that terrible, soulless prison called a waiting room?
  • There’s a “National ___ Day” for everything under the sun. When is “National Mind Your Own Business Day”?

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