Urban Meyer needs to give Jon Gruden half of his salary. Meyer is off the hook as the lead NFL story now that Gruden’s racist, sexist, and homophobic emails have been brought out into the open. Considering the Raiders have so many black players, including the first gay player to make the regular season roster, and that the Raiders were the first team to hire a black coach and female executive, and it’s pretty obvious he had to go. He’ll lay low and, in a year or two, will announce he has been in rehab and training and is a new man, and then FOX Sports will hire him. (No way he ever gets back to ESPN, given that network’s slavish obedience to a very liberal agenda.) And Urban gets to lay low for a while. So what other drama is on tap for week 6?
Tampa Bay at Philadelphia – Philly fans now mistakenly think their squad is a contender. Brady rolls into town to remind them of reality. Bucs 34, Eagles 17
Miami at Jacksonville (London) – Further helping Meyer escape the spotlight is its annual “home” game in England. I still say it’s only a matter of time before the Jags move there permanently, given the owner’s business ties to the area. And mercifully for the fan base, they have their best chance of a win they will get all year. Maybe, just maybe…. Jags 20, Fish 18
Cincinnati at Detroit – Cincy was part of some odd scores last week – they and Houston scored 22, Indy, Green Bay and New England scored 25, and Carolina scored 18. Let’s keep the odd-ball scores rolling as Detroit comes close but loses close yet again. Bengals 26, lion cubs 19
Green Bay at Chicago – Soap Opera Aaron says he will NEVER play for the Bears. But who knows, maybe he follows his predecessor and heads to Minneapolis next year. Probably not, but in the meantime, he keeps things rolling in this short road trip. Packers 31, Bears 20
Houston at Indianapolis – If you want excitement… look elsewhere. Colts 20, Texans 17
Kansas City at Washington – We now know the Chiefs are weak on defense. But then again, so is Washington with their inconsistent skill position players. And they don’t have nearly enough defense to slow this machine down. Chiefs 37, The Team Formerly Known As Redskins 20
LA Chargers at Baltimore – We’re still not entirely certain how good the Ravens are. We are very certain how good LA is. That would be VERY good. Clippers 33, Ravens 21
LA Rams at NY Giants – The team from Gotham is critically injured again, just in time for a good defense to roll in and shut down what little they have. Rams 41, Little People 10
Arizona at Cleveland – Arizona didn’t put away the rookie QB until very late last week. This week’s QB is working with only 1 arm. Since Arizona has about a negative-400% chance of running the table, I’m going to go with this as the week they come back down to earth. Browns 38, Cards 31
Dallas at New England – Lots of folks are talking about how questionable Bill B. has been drafting players in recent years. It took them all day to put away the lowly Texans last week. The other team from that state is much better, especially on offense. This will be ugly. Cowboys 45, Patriots 13
Las Vegas at Denver – Both teams got off to hot starts and then came crashing down. But only one lost their head coach, for some awful reasons. That team will be a little more distracted. Donkeys 23, Fakers 17
Seattle at Pittsburgh – Russell is out with a broken finger (man, that injury was f’ugly). Geno Smith looked capable in relief, but Pittsburgh seems to have found its footing, even with a 147-year-old QB. Steelers 27, Seahawks 16
Buffalo at Tennessee – The Titans are still ironing out the kinks. The only kinks the Bills have involve which wing establishment to get to cater the buffet for the AFC title game at their house. Buffalo, NC 28, Titans 20
Minnesota at Carolina – Darnold has regressed in 2 straight losses. The problem isn’t him, it’s the disgusting play of the offensive line. It comes down to Run CMC. If he plays, we win. If he doesn’t, we lose. Of course, Matt Rhule is following the paranoid script every coach uses and won’t reveal anything until Sunday morning. Too bad I have to guess and publish a prediction on Thursday. Norwegians 20, panthers 13
Last week’s record: 11-5
Bye: Atlanta, New Orleans, N.Y. Jets, San Francisco
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