I’d like to take a moment to boast about myself. Last week was a good week, picking 11 games correctly. Also, picking the exact score of the Panthers-Texans game and missing the Titans-Colts game by only 2 points was also uncanny. (Yay me!) Of course, losing 2 of our most important players wasn’t part of the prediction. The Panthers traded for a very talented but troubled CB in the hopes they can replicate the Sam Darnold success and ending the obnoxious “Darnold to Dan Arnold” phrase. Let’s see what’s on tap for week 4.
Jacksonville at Cincinnati – Isn’t it funny how closely Urban Meyer is following the Steve Spurrier / Nick Saban playbook? He’s following the same pattern – win about 99% of your college games, get a job in the NFL, show zero ability to coach grown men, and pile up losses like he’s never done in his life. I don’t have much faith that he’s going to make it 2 full years like Spurrier and Saban did. And I wouldn’t be surprised to see Trevor Lawrence become Sam Darnold 2.0 and resurrect his career somewhere else starting in 2025. Bengals 31, Jags 14
Cleveland at Minnesota – The Browns defense finally showed up in Chicago. I can’t decide if Minnesota is any good or not, especially on defense. This will be close, but I think the Browns have a slight edge on both sides of the ball. Browns 24, Norwegians 21
Detroit at Chicago – Let’s just call this the Hot Mess Bowl. Both teams have major issues. Detroit keeps finding new ways to lose at the end. That probably happens again this week. bear cubs 20, lion cubs 17
Houston at Buffalo – Davis Mills is very poised for a rookie. But as we saw last week, elite defenses give him many problems. This is another elite defense. Buffalo, NC 27, Texans 10
Indianapolis at Miami – It’s the Jacoby Brissett Revenge Game, I guess. But he’s just a placeholder until Miami can finalize the trade for DeShawn Watson. Colts 23, Fish 21
Kansas City at Philadelphia – Philly was supposed to be good. Fantasy football gurus keep telling me to start Miles Sanders, and he keeps putting up 6 points a game. KC also has major defensive issues, so I might finally see a payoff this weekend. This will be a track meet, with the slightly less awful defense coming out ahead. Chiefs 37, Eagles 30
NY Giants at New Orleans – The Superdome is finally open again. Even better for the home squad is that they get a barely-better-than- ‘Bama squad to crush. Aints 41, Little People 7
Tennessee at NY Jets – It’s entertaining to hear sports talking heads Rich Eisen and Mike Greenburg vent their frustrations over their favorite team, the Jets. Eisen went on an epic rant last week after Sam Darnold got his third straight win, explaining how the ownership is responsible for the dire situation the franchise is in at the moment. I agree that they have good people in place assembling and coaching the team, but this is going to take a while. Titans 34, j-e-t-s jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 13
Washington at Atlanta – This one is tough to pick strictly with my head. My heart wants Ron Rivera to succeed because he did a great job here with the Panthers. As a Panthers fan, I hate the Falcons with a passion. Trying to be objective, I see that Atlanta has not been good on defense, and they probably only took advantage of an inept team to get the win last week. This is probably one of those “last team with the ball wins” kind of games. The Team Formerly Known As Redskins 23, Falcons 20
Arizona at LA Rams – This should be the game of the day. Both offenses are high-level. I think LA has a little more to offer on defense and will be able to hold up just a little bit better. Rams 38, Cards 34
Seattle at San Francisco – I’m having a hard time believing the egg Seattle laid in the second half last week is an indicator of the quality of the team. I’m also having a hard time envisioning them going on the road and toppling this talented but inconsistent squad. 49ers 28, Seahawks 20
Baltimore at Denver – Teddy Two-Gloves is off to a fine start. Baltimore has 2 wins that with one bounce could each be losses. Going with the home team here. Donkeys 23, Ravens 16
Pittsburgh at Green Bay – Since the special teams rescued them in Buffalo, Pittsburgh has looked quite feeble, especially on defense. That D will have a tough time against Aaron “See I Told You I Don’t Need Training Camp And I Can Do Whatever I Want When I Want To” Rodgers as he continues his anger tour. Packers 34, Steelers 20
Tampa Bay at New England – Since Tom Brady always gets what he always wants, always, I have little doubt he will get his way in the return trip. Bucs 33, Pats 17
Las Vegas at LA Chargers – We’re going to see a lot of what we saw in week 2 – the road team having home field advantage because their fans get 80% of the tickets, some good offenses, and a key mistake or two by the “home” team that costs them dearly. Raiders 27, Clippers 24
Carolina at Dallas – I have a couple of in-laws that are Cowboys fans. We’ve been exchanging trash talk about this game ever since the schedule came out. When Run CMC pulled his hamstring in Houston, I went silent. I still think Darnold is legit, and our defense is elite, but without CMC, we have fewer playmakers. Dreading the family chats next week. Cowboys 28, Panthers 21
Last week’s record: 12-4
Season: 30-18
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