I’m off to my worst start ever predicting game outcomes. I can forgive myself for not picking the Jets. The only people who picked them were Mike Greenberg, Rich Eisen, and blood relatives of Jets players & employees. There are lots of overreactions – let’s remember that there are still 15 games to play. That extra game gives more wiggle room for the 7 teams that are 0-2 and being buried by the talking heads. Let’s examine their – and everyone else’s – week 3.
Pittsburgh at Cleveland (Thur) – With 2 fourth quarter defensive collapses, people are bailing on Cleveland even though everyone was saying a week ago, “I told you they would win week 1.” Riiiiiiight. At any rate, Steelers fans are already screaming for the backup QB. I think the home team will be more motivated than ever to show that last week was a fluke, and they have a very average QB on which to rebuild their rep. Browns 23, Steelers 6
Baltimore at New England – Week 1, the Pats were garbage. Week 2, after beating a mediocre Steelers team, they’re back to being Super Bowl contenders. Like I said, lots of overreactions. Baltimore couldn’t stop the Miami scoring machine last week, but this is NOT a scoring machine. Ravens 27, Patriots 16
Buffalo at Miami – I remember some talking heads ahead of week 1 saying, “ease up on the Bills Super Bowl talk; the AFC is SO LOADED!!!!” Those talking heads now disappear whenever the team next to Canada comes up in conversation. Big thanks to Tyreek Hill, who was 1 of 2 WRs on my fantasy squad that nearly outscored my opponent’s entire team by themselves. This one has all the makings of a game with a basketball score. Buffalo’s defense should make the difference late. Buffalo, NC 42, Fish 35
Cincinnati at NY Jets – Lots of love for the green guys all of a sudden, along with “How did Cincy go from the Super Bowl to bottom-feeders so fast?” takes. Neither team is as good or bad as their record indicates. Cincy bounces back this week. Bengals 23, J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 20
Detroit at Minnesota – Detroit is certainly good enough for me to retire the moniker “lion cubs” I have been applying to them in recent years. The Vikings have looked equally impressive and terrible in the first 2 weeks. Not sure what they really are, but I’ll give them the edge in this one since they will have that extremely obnoxious horn going. Norwegians 27, Lions 20
Houston at Chicago – Here’s the new home of the “cubs” moniker. This week, they have an equally rotten team to face to right the ship. The only word I can think of that describes how I think this game will go is “f’ugly.” Texans 13, bear cubs 9
Kansas City at Indianapolis – There are 2 teams at 0-2 that are really that awful and the time to panic is now. This game features one of them. No way are they able to keep up with the track team on the other sideline. Chiefs 33, Dolts 14
Las Vegas at Tennessee – No, neither of these is the other 0-2 team in need of panic. I’m still trying to figure out what happened to the Tennessee offense. I’m sure they are too. Raiders 28, Titans 17
Philadelphia at Washington – Also prevalent in the preseason was talk that Philly had very little chance at meeting sky-high expectations. That talk has disappeared next to the same talk about the Bills. Riverboat Ron has the offense in decent shape, but the defense is ill-equipped to handle this machine. Eagles 38, Commanders 20
Jacksonville at LA Chargers – So who had the Jags as the only AFC South team with a win after week 2? Yeah, me neither. I can’t imagine they can slow down the LA offense enough to steal another win though. Clippers 27, Jags 20
Atlanta at Seattle – Battle of the Retread Quarterbacks is a close battle that goes to the away team. Falcons 20, Seahawks 13
Green Bay at Tampa Bay – When Tampa first started playing in the mid-70s, the Pack was terrible. These 2 were in the same division. Their 2 battles a year became “the bay of pigs” to one prognosticator. Both of these teams have started very slowly on offense, setting up a new “bay of pigs” battle. That favors the home team with their stingy defense. Bucs 19, Packers 13
LA Rams at Arizona – LA almost gagged on a lead last week. The Cards were the beneficiaries of another team gagging on a lead last week. LA is missing something defensively without Von Miller. Cardinals 31, Rams 28
San Francisco at Denver – The Weather Channel says it will be sunny in Denver on Sunday. San Fran has to be excited to finally play a game without any rain. Despite losing Trey Lance, it’s smooth sailing by the world’s best backup QB. 49ers 28, Donkeys 14
Dallas at NY Giants (Mon) – “THE GIANTS ARE 2-0! IT’S THE GLORY DAYS AGAIN! GIANTS WILL ROLL TO THE SUPER BOWL!” or so all the NY-based national talking heads say. Except that it took a miracle to win game 1 and a 56-yard kick to win game 2. This won’t be pretty. Cowboys 34, Little People 13
New Orleans at Carolina – I’ve done a complete 180-degree shift. After defending Matt Rhule all summer, I’m now on the #FireRhule bandwagon. We have talented players, but the head coach has no clue how to prepare them. Basic plays can’t be executed. Send him packing and let him chase the Nebraska and/or Arizona State jobs (please, dear God, keep him FAR away from Auburn). This week’s game is another that we should win easily, as New Orleans has an injured QB. But we should have won the first two as well. I expect us to lose every game until Rhule gets fired. Aints 19, panther kittens 3
Last week’s record: 8-8
Season: 14-19-1
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