Everything is out of whack after the near-tragedy in Cincinnati on Monday. We’re all just trying to find our way, including self-appointed gurus like me picking games.
Kansas City at Las Vegas (Sat) – I’m still willing to bet that Josh McDaniels will be the Patriots offensive coordinator in 2023. Chiefs 38, Fakers 20
Tennessee at Jacksonville (Sat) – Is this magical run going to continue in North Florida? Anything is possible in the city with the river that runs backward. Jags 27, Titans 21
Tampa Bay at Atlanta – If the Titans beat the Jags, they will win the AFC South at 8-9. Yet no one is calling for the division to be banished to the English Premier League like they are about the NFC South, which would have an identical record for its champion if Atlanta pulls the upset. But there will be no upset, and everyone can get on with their Brady worship. Bucs 34, Falcons 17
New England at Buffalo – After all the hell the Bills have been through this week, you might think that the game would be easy. I am one such person that thinks that way. Buffalo, NC 28, Patriots 20
Minnesota at Chicago – Another epic meltdown on a big stage for the Vikes last week. They’ll probably rest some players this week since they have no shot at the lone first-round bye. So the final score will not be exactly what it should be. Norwegians 23, bear cubs 20
Baltimore at Cincinnati – The bad football aspect of the Monday cancellation is that the Bengals lose almost every playoff scenario. All they can do is win the game. Given the roll they’re on, they should be able to do that. Bengals 24, Ravens 20
Houston at Indianapolis – Remember the first epic matchup between these two? Neither do I, other than I know it ended in a tie. Another tie this week? Probably not. And the players’ wives and parents will be the only people who care. The Who Cares Game of the Year. Dolts 16, Texans 13
NY Jets at Miami – Remember when these teams were going to be playing this game for the #1 seed in the AFC? Neither do I, but rumor has it that both of them were Flavor of the Week for a while. I suspect they will both leave the field with the rotten taste of a losing record in their mouths. J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 23, Fish 21
Cleveland at Pittsburgh – Mike Tomlin says that finishing with a losing record for the first time in his career means absolutely nothing. If you believe that, I have some beachfront property in Nebraska to sell you. With Clowney’s Browns career over, I think Pittsburgh is able to run the ball well. Steelers 20, Browns 17
LA Chargers at Denver – Well, Denver looked alive for the first time in weeks after firing their coach. But Rusty Wilson has much less to work with than Justin Herbert. Clippers 28, Donkeys 14
NY Giants at Philadelphia – We now know that Philly is not much better than the Colts without Hurts at QB. He was limited in practice this week, but I imagine any scenario where he isn’t in a wheelchair means he plays. Lucky for them they are at home. Eagles 27, Giants 23
Arizona at San Francisco – Word on the street is that Panthers owner David Tepper is fascinated with SF DC DeMico Ryans. He will probably be even more fascinated after another lockdown performance this week. 49ers 27, Cards 3
LA Rams at Seattle – I’ll be honest here. I want LA to win. That would move them behind the Panthers in the draft order, putting us 1 step closer to a new QB. Seattle has gone ice cold after a great start. Rams 23, Seahawks 20
Dallas at Washington – Speaking of teams that have gone ice cold, there are the Commanders. Rivera may be looking for work after destroying their playoff hopes by starting Carson Wentz. So the front-running Cowboys fans get to cheer again. Cowboys 31, Commanders 14
Detroit at Green Bay – Remember when the Packers had zero shot at making the playoffs? Neither do I, but they were 4-8 at one point. Detroit is the feel-good story, but this is a different animal. And with Aaron Rodgers relieved of being my fantasy QB, he probably throws for 500 yards. Packers 34, Lions 10
Carolina at New Orleans – Our season is over. Our best long-term prospects involve us losing this game, the Rams beating Seattle for a higher draft pick, and Atlanta beating Tampa, so we get the 4th place schedule for 2023. In that case, the 4th place team of the NFC East, NFC West, and AFC North (in addition to the 6 NFC South games and the 4 games against the NFC North and AFC South). There’s also the fact that Lattimore is back for New Orleans, allowing them to further stack the box to stop our running game while he covers DJ Moore. Let’s get this over with and settle the coaching situation and prepare for the draft. Aints 23, panther kittens 17
Last week’s record: 9-6
Season: 152-101-2
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