These games get curious-er and curious-er. I have now picked more games wrong than I have right. All this parity creates a fertile ground for conspiracy theories. I posted one on Twitter during last Sunday’s games. “Are NFL games fixed? Well, they do manage to go to commercial break ALL AT THE SAME TIME!” The Pete Morelli theory is more entertaining. A petition has been started for the NFL to ban Morelli for serving as the referee in Eagles games. Apparently, since he became a ref in 1999, the Eagles have been flagged far more than their opponents when his crew officiates. They had stats to back it up. There are 60,000 signatures so far. Let’s (conspiracy) theorize the results of this week’s games.

Kansas City at Oakland (Thur) – A number of pundits are picking the Raiders for no other reason than a lot of games have had unexpected results. True, but when you dominate an opponent the way KC has dominated the Raiders, you need better evidence than that. Chiefs 27, Raiders 10

NY Jets at Miami – Who knew this would be a battle of 3-win teams? Jets got royally screwed last week, and Miami won a game they shouldn’t have. Now THAT’S a parity theory. J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets 23, Fish 20

Tennessee at Cleveland – When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Cleveland is as addicted to the shovel as most people are to their cell phones. Titans 28, brownie troop 6

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh – Another game people are theorizing is ripe for an upset, only because Cincy is coming off a bye. So was Atlanta last week. Hogwash. Steelers 30, Bangles 17

Jacksonville at Indianapolis – Two teams that have no clue who they are. The up-and-down pattern of Jax says this is an up week. Going with the up-and-down theory. Jags 26, Dolts 16

Tampa Bay at Buffalo – There was an upside-down nature to the Bucs-Cards game last week, as the Cards torched the Bucs until Crab Leg Boy got hurt and Ryan Fitzpatrick nearly led a comeback. The Bills lost to the Bengals 2 weeks ago and are banged up. But they are off the bye, and Tampa played out West last week. Going with the rested players theory. Bills 20, Yuck-aneers 16

Baltimore at Minnesota – Home team rides that obnoxious horn to a low-quality game win over a low-quality opponent. Norwegians 19, baby birds 13

Arizona at LA Rams (England) – The Brits aren’t going to know what to do when they get to the stadium and don’t see any Jacksonville uniforms. They will probably sit in silence. That should make the Rams feel right at home. Rams 27, Bruce’s Ego 16

New Orleans at Green Bay – Amazing how anyone who puts on that yellow helmet with the green G suddenly gets anointed as the best of his generation, no matter how inexperienced he is, and no matter how much of a roll the opponent is on. Aints 33, Packers 19

Dallas at San Francisco – Zeke got a restraining order. No, not against RG1, but against the league, so he can play this week. Kills off any hope Frisco had of a win. Jerry’s Team 37, 49ers 14

Denver at LA Chargers – Two wins and everybody’s back on the Chargers bandwagon. So you think that last week was the real Broncos and the rest of the season was the fake ones? Where do you people get such crap? Donkeys 34, Clippers 21

Seattle at NY Giants – See Denver at LA Chargers above. Same nonsense. Seahawks 27, Little People 17

Atlanta at New England – Finally, a Sunday night game worth losing sleep over. I smell a track meet. Filthy Birds 38, Patriots 35

Washington at Philadelphia (Mon) – While we’re at it, a Monday game worth losing sleep over. I think we have an NFC title favorite. Eagles 23, Dead-skins 21

Carolina at Chicago – I always have to keep my heart in check with my favorite team. But even if Kuechly is done forever (he is), and even if our running game sucks (it does), Cam should destroy this young defense and Thomas Davis & Kawaan Short should destroy Trubisky. If they don’t, they don’t even deserve to finish the season. PANTHERS 30, bear cubs 13

Last week’s record: 4-10
Season: 45-46