Chaos has arrived. Not one team in the AFC has clinched a seed. There are 7 teams alive for 6 spots, and Baltimore can finish anywhere from #2 seed to not going to the playoffs at all. The playoffs will be mayhem. The NFC is much calmer, with a championship rematch between the Saints and Rams almost inevitable, which stinks for those of us that hate the Saints. And then of course there is Monday, where rumor has it that up to 9 coaches could join the 2 that have already been visited by the Fired Department. Happy New Year!
Detroit at Green Bay – Most of us don’t care, but the media breathlessly chronicles every move Erin makes. They’ll be giddy at how this one turns out. Packers 33, lion cubs 13
Atlanta at Tampa Bay – Panthers fans will be rooting for Atlanta so we don’t end up in last place. The one thing in the second half that manages to go right. Falcons 27, Yuck-aneers 10
Dallas at NY Giants – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Cowboys 26, Little People 14
Jacksonville at Houston – Texans could finish #2 or even #6. Jacksonville may be looking at 137-year-old Tom Coughlin as coach next year. Pretty easy call here. Texans 30, Jags 17
Miami at Buffalo – Bills DT Kyle Williams, who has been with the teams since shortly after OJ Simpson left town, is retiring. That’s about the only thing that gives this game any juice. Everyone’s status in Miami is uncertain. Buffalo, NC 20, Fish 17
NY Jets at New England – Just watching to see if NE will choke away that second seed the Texans gifted to them last week. Uh….. No. Patriots 38, J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 17
Oakland at Kansas City – KC has found its new running back, giving Damien Williams a 2-year, $8.1 million contract extension. He gets to celebrate by running all over a terrible defense. They’ll get a fight, but they’ll win it. Chiefs 27, Fakers 20
Arizona at Seattle – Nothing on the line here except whether Steve Wilks gets to keep his job. Getting rolled by the Seahawks will not help. Seahawks 34, Cards 9
Chicago at Minnesota – There’s a good chance these teams will be playing again next week. Of course, that game would be outside. This one features the obnoxious horn, which is a major advantage for the Vikes. They’ll get this one, but not the next one. Norwegians 23, Bears 20
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh – Word is that Burfect may be done due to concussions. While it’s never good to root for a guy to get hurt, when a guy who is a terrible person and one of the dirtiest players to ever put on shoulder pads has to go away, it’s OK to not be sorry. Expect these teams to honor him with about half a dozen in-game fights. And lots of scoring through the hole Burfect once manned. Steelers 37, Bangles 21
Cleveland at Baltimore – It’s been a dream season in Cleveland, going from zero wins to a .500 record in one year. What would be the worst thing for them? To get rolled in the last game and the ding-a-ling owner ordering the GM to NOT hire Gregg Williams based on that result alone. Since the worst thing that could happen often happens in Cleveland….. Ravens 28, Browns 10
LA Chargers at Denver – LA never bothered to show up for its game last week, probably costing them the division title. Fortunately, they have a cream puff to close the season and get ready for a wild card game. Clippers 33, Donkeys 17
Philadelphia at Washington – No changes in DC. You just can’t win when you’ve lost that many QBs. Eagles 28, Dead-skins 12
San Francisco at LA Rams – Rams are banged up, and Frisco has played very hard. I don’t expect an upset, but definitely smell a scare coming through. Rams 23, 49ers 21
Indianapolis at Tennessee – Assuming Houston does win, this game is for the #6 spot, so it’s essentially the first game of the playoffs. Indy has been very schizophrenic the last couple weeks, shutting out Dallas and nearly getting beat by the Little People. Tennessee is unspectacular but steady. I’d rather Indy win so Captain Andrew Luck can add playoff banter to his Twitter gold. But, I think the steady team gets the win at home. Titans 24, Colts 21
Carolina at New Orleans – Even though NO has clinched the #1 seed and will be playing the bench guys and equipment managers, they will still beat my guys. Ever since that Pittsburgh game, I knew we were going to lose our last 8 in a row to finish 6-10 and last in the NFCS. I hope Rivera survives, but I doubt he will. The evil NO team is going to the Super Bowl. Aints 23, panthers 10
Last week’s record: 11-5
Season: 145-95
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