It’s crunch time. Cam Newton has been shut down, the Redskins are on about their 13thQB. Jay Gruden also needs to tell his big brother how to coach, as he’s doing far better than ol’ Jon is right now. At the present moment, the Rams are the 2ndbest team in LA. We all saw that coming, right? Yeah, just like we all saw the Browns still being mathematically alive for a playoff spot in week 16. Makes you wonder why people like me insist on predicting who wins these games.
Washington at Tennessee – One more nasty hit and Jay Gruden is going to have to play QB himself. His team has fought hard, but it is just down too many players. Titans 20, Dead-skins 10
Baltimore at LA Chargers – Another game of the week candidate. Good thing it’s being played when no other NFL games are on.
Minnesota at Detroit – I had to go back and look to see who Detroit played last week. I’m pretty sure no human beings more than 10 miles outside of Detroit and Buffalo saw the game. There’s just not a lot going on with these guys right now. The Vikings discovered last week that the problem WAS the offensive coordinator. This will make Defensive Guy that coaches the Lions very unhappy. Norwegians 37, lion cubs 14
Cincinnati at Cleveland – Cincy ended their long slide last week, but it was against the worst team in the league. They already lost at home to the other Ohio team, who has arrived at Christmas week without being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. They’re not going to make it, but whipping up on your state & division rivals is a nice way to continue the upward trajectory. Browns 27, Bangles 10
Buffalo at New England – The Bills have done a decent job fighting through injuries, especially to the QB. The Pats are not quite their usual selves. While that sounds like talk of a possible upset…. Uh, no. Patriots 34, Buffalo, NC 21
Houston at Philadelphia – Could be the game of the week. Philly struggles against really good defenses, and Houston has a really good defense. Texans 24, Eagles 17
Jacksonville at Miami – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Fish 23, Jags 21
Green Bay at NY Jets – People are screaming for Rodgers to sit with the Pack now eliminated. He’s not nursing an injury, he’s not getting destroyed by defenders who first destroy the offensive line. Let him man up and play, especially against a junior-league team he should dominate. Packers 34, J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 23
Tampa Bay at Dallas – I’m rooting for a 0-0 tie. Short of that, I’ll simply note that this should be a chance for the home team to cure itself of the ills of last week. Cowboys 27, Yuck-aneers 23
NY Giants at Indianapolis – NY got shut out by a good but not great defense. Indy shut out a Dallas team that is worlds better than before they traded for Cooper. This might get very, very ugly. It might also get archived as a cure for insomnia. Colts 23, Little People 6
LA Rams at Arizona – Rams looked very ordinary the last 2 weeks. Fortunately for them, they have a relatively short trip to play a team that some talking heads are saying is falling apart at the seams and is in danger of ruining their franchise QB. This could be a duplicate of last week for Arizona, when they got run over by an injured Falcons team. Rams 43, Cards 17
Chicago at San Francisco – You gotta love how hard Frisco is competing with the season long ago lost. But they not only face a vaunted defense, they have to deal with.. MITCHELL’S SWEATER! No chance of beating that combo. Bears 23, 49ers 17
Pittsburgh at New Orleans – Last time a powerful offense came to New Orleans, a track meet broke out. I expect another track meet. Unfortunately, I expect a similar result. Aints 44, Steelers 38
Kansas City at Seattle – Has anyone located the Seahawks? They were supposed to play in San Francisco last week, but they never showed up. They need to be located so they can have some role in writing the script for the matchup with the AFC’s best team. Chiefs 33, Seahawks 21
Denver at Oakland – The NFL’s worst team playing host to possibly its most boring team. What a great way to end the Monday Night schedule. Being Monday night is the thing that keeps this one from being the WCGotW. YAWN. Donkeys 17, Fakers 13
Atlanta at Carolina – The defense did an admirable job holding the powerful Saints offense to 1 TD and 2 field goals. Atlanta’s isn’t as good, but still not at all bad. Atlanta is down to 3rd-string guys all over the defense. Would this be a chance for the Panthers offense to cure itself? With Cam sporting a bum shoulder, it isn’t likely. For us Panthers fans, there is simply no reason to hope. Falcons 23, panthers 16
Last week’s record: 9-7
Season: 134-90
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