What a fascinating weekend. We now know that the whole Jerry Richardson-Morgan Fogerty thing was just the tip of the iceberg, and the Panthers are going to be put up for sale. This is going to be interesting to watch. We already have a music mogul who wants in, even though the team has a net worth 5 times what his is. A local Hornets part owner insists the new owner must be given a free stadium paid for by the city’s janitors, teachers and accountants. Don’t get me started. We’d better just get to the games.
Indianapolis at Baltimore (Sat) – I haven’t seen Captain Andrew Luck on Twitter in a while. Even the most die-hard Colts fan has to be out of witticisms by this point. Little Black Birds 30, Dolts 17
Minnesota at Green Bay (Sat) – The Panthers last 2 victims get together. The media is, as expected, still believing that Erin Rodgers is God. He isn’t. The Vikings defense will present the counter-argument. Norwegians 23, Packers 20
Detroit at Cincinnati – Word on the street is that Marvin Lewis wants a front office job. Anything to get away from this gigantic failure of a team he is coaching. Lions 27, Bangles 10
LA Chargers at NY Jets – Well, LA came crashing down last week. The Jets continue to fight, and I still think Todd Bowles deserves Coach of the Year consideration. This is a heart pick, as I need Phillip Rivers to go off if I hope to win money in my fantasy football league. Clippers 34, Jets 23
Denver at Washington – It was recently reported that Demaryus Thomas pulled a Kaepernick, going vegan, losing strength, and becoming less of a football player. Fitting, as his team has become less of a football team this year. Dead-skins 21, Donkeys 19
Atlanta at New Orleans – In the ideal Panthers world, Panthers & Falcons win, then Panthers win next week in Georgia to take the division title. But this is probably a revenge game for NO, and they are hard to beat at home. Aints 30, Falcons 27
Indianapolis at Baltimore (Sat) – I haven’t seen Captain Andrew Luck on Twitter in a while. Even the most die-hard Colts fan has to be out of witticisms by this point. Little Black Birds 30, Dolts 17
Minnesota at Green Bay (Sat) – The Panthers last 2 victims get together. The media is, as expected, still believing that Erin Rodgers is God. He isn’t. The Vikings defense will present the counter-argument. Norwegians 23, Packers 20
Detroit at Cincinnati – Word on the street is that Marvin Lewis wants a front office job. Anything to get away from this gigantic failure of a team he is coaching. Lions 27, Bangles 10
LA Chargers at NY Jets – Well, LA came crashing down last week. The Jets continue to fight, and I still think Todd Bowles deserves Coach of the Year consideration. This is a heart pick, as I need Phillip Rivers to go off if I hope to win money in my fantasy football league. Clippers 34, Jets 23
Denver at Washington – It was recently reported that Demaryus Thomas pulled a Kaepernick, going vegan, losing strength, and becoming less of a football player. Fitting, as his team has become less of a football team this year. Dead-skins 21, Donkeys 19
Atlanta at New Orleans – In the ideal Panthers world, Panthers & Falcons win, then Panthers win next week in Georgia to take the division title. But this is probably a revenge game for NO, and they are hard to beat at home. Aints 30, Falcons 27
Buffalo at New England – Oops. Buffalo will need to win in Miami next week to get that playoff spot. Patriots 38, Bills 16
Miami at Kansas City – Hey, look who finally woke up after an 8-game nap! With the Raiders busy shooting themselves and LA dispatched after last week’s shelling, KC can now look forward to the playoffs. Chefs 28, Fins 21
Cleveland at Chicago – With the Steelers up next week, this is the last chance for Cleveland to avoid 0-16. The odds are not good. Bear cubs 20, brownie troop 10
LA Rams at Tennessee – The team from twanger-ville is having a hard time with the West coast teams. This is not going to help any. Rams 33, Titans 17
Jacksonville at San Francisco – This will bring the little winning streak to a halt. But it’s not like they will be losing to a rotten team; Jax is on a serious roll. Jags 21, 49ers 14
NY Giants at Arizona – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Little people 19, Bruce’s Ego 16
Seattle at Dallas – Zeke is back, and they are a totally different team with him. Cowboys 35, Seahawks 17
Seattle at Dallas – Zeke is back, and they are a totally different team with him. Cowboys 35, Seahawks 17
Pittsburgh at Houston (Mon) – That’s a very stupid rule that cost Pittsburgh last week. And Antonio is out. Lucky for them, they have a really bad team up next to recover. Steelers 41, Texans 10
Oakland at Philadelphia (Mon) – The best team in the NFL welcomes a team that’s playing like one of the worst. This one will be over very quickly. Eagles 45, Raiders 7
Tampa Bay at Carolina – What better way to get away from the sordid off-the-field issues than to face a rotten team that you’ve already pummeled once already? Panthers 27, Yuck-aneers 6
Last week’s record: 12-4
Season: 127-82
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