Kaepernick gets a workout and 5 people show up. Kyle Allen’s transformation from Joe Montana to Cliff Stoudt is now complete. Mexico had a successful game with no Montezuma’s Revenge being evident. Everybody’s favorite football saint Vontaz Burfect says some games are rigged. The most mediocre game-predictor ever (me) gets 11 out of 13 games right. It’s certainly been an interesting week.

Indianapolis at Houston (Thu) – The last one went down to the wire. This one probably will also, and the home team will probably have a slight edge. Texans 27, Horses 24 

Oakland at NY Jets – Wait a minute… the Raiders are 1 game out of first? New York has managed to win 3 games? I guess this is the Who Wudda Thunk It Bowl. Raiders 23, J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 20 

Detroit at Washington – The Underachiever Bowl. I think the home team will continue the season-long trend of under-achieving more. lion cubs 23, Dead-skins 10 

Seattle at Philadelphia – Left Coast teams always struggle in these trips East, except when they have significantly better rosters. Seahawks 27, Eagles 21 

Tampa Bay at Atlanta – What happened during Atlanta’s bye week? Best I can come up with is Dan Quinn made a return trip to Seattle and bought a case of Russell Wilson’s Jesus Juice. Whatever happened, it’s certainly working. Falcons 26, Yuck-aneers 13 

Miami at Cleveland – Miami is back to stinking, and Cleveland has actually won 2 in a row. No sense bucking the obvious trends. Jarvis Landry has a big game against his old team. Browns 24, Fish Carcasses 10 

NY Giants at Chicago – This will be so boring you can put amphetamine freaks to sleep by making them watch it. bear cubs 20, Little People 17 

Denver at Buffalo – It feels like Buffalo should be 5-5 or something, but they keep pulling wins out of their hats. Denver pulled the choke job of the year last week. This one won’t be fun unless you love defense. Buffalo, NC 19, Donkeys 9 

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati – After getting thumped – literally – in Cleveland, Pittsburgh should be plenty mad. The journey to 0-16 marches on. Steelers 28, Bangles 7 

Jacksonville at Tennessee – The only game more boring-er than NYG-Chi, which makes it the Who Cares Game of the Week. Titans 20, Jags 17 

Dallas at New England – Oh, goody, there’s only 1 game on at 4:00 this week. I’ll see how Brady & Eidelman do leading my fantasy team. I’m guessing, not as well as I’d like. Cowboys 27, Patriots 21 

Green Bay at San Francisco – The world’s continual obsession with every move Erin Rodgers makes gets another piece of evidence against it. 49ers 31, Packers 16 

Baltimore at LA Rams (Mon) – Something’s not right with LA on offense. This is the worst opponent to face when you can’t score. Ravens 33, Rams 17 

Carolina at New Orleans – How quickly things go bad, and at the same time as last year. Even Kyle Allen at his worst can beat Washington, but probably not anyone else on the schedule. This week, a good defense is going to eat him alive. Rivera will get canned if we don’t beat Washington next week. The season from hell continues. Aints 43, panthers

Last week’s record: 12-2

Season: 103-59

BYE: Arizona, Kansas City, LA Chargers, Minnesota