The autumn season passes by faster than all the other seasons. How else do you explain that it’s time for Thanksgiving already???  That just hit me – “Holy crap, Thanksgiving is next week!” Perhaps it’s my inner polar bear that has come to despise summer, and summer keeps getting longer thanks to global warming, so that by the time autumn weather actually arrives, it’s pretty much already time for the holidays. So what’s on tap this week?
Green Bay at Seattle – Two of the most confusing, confounding teams of all time. Since I have run completely out of Jesus Juice jokes, I have to stick to the X’s and O’s. Seattle has a good running game that requires fewer heroics from Wilson and chews up time. The Pack has more big play options – probably just enough to squeeze out a win. Packers 27, Seahawks 24 
Pittsburgh at Jacksonville – This was supposed to be a titanic clash, but Jacksonville hasn’t won since the solar eclipse and Pittsburgh is on a major roll. By the 4thquarter, only Steelers fans will be in the stadium, and they’ll probably be chanting “London Jaguars.” Steelers 41, Jags 17 
Cincinnati at Baltimore – Cincy is in the tank. Baltimore is going to go coach shopping. Hue Jackson is back on the Cincy coaching staff. Watch as the home team rack up huge amounts of points and yards, almost none of which will go to the 1 player of theirs that is on my fantasy team. Ravens 34, Bangles 20 
Houston at Washington – Houston has been better on defense than offense, even with all their weapons. Washington got torched between the 20 yard lines last week, but the Bucs ineptitude kept them from scoring. I hope this isn’t pure bias picking here, but I kinda hope DeAndre Hopkins shuts Josh Norman’s enormous mouth with a few TD catches. Texans 23, Dead-skins 21 
Tennessee at Indianapolis – If Houston loses, the winner of this one becomes their chief rival for the division. The home turf probably provides the deciding advantage. Colts 27, Titans 20 
Dallas at Atlanta – Is Dallas really back, or was that just 1 week where everything came together and produced Glory Hole? I still don’t believe in their offense, which isn’t nearly as good as Atlanta’s. This looks like one of those games you watch out of morbid curiosity, like a car wreck. Falcons 29, Cowgirls 26 
Tampa Bay at NY Giants – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Use tape of this game to coerce confessions out of criminals. Little People 19, Yuck-aneers 13
Oakland at Arizona – Ugh. Jon Gruden inches closer to the #1 overall pick. At least there is a promising rookie QB to watch, unlike the game right above this one. Cards 20, Fakers 17 
Denver at LA Chargers – Everybody who’s everybody says Denver is the first one to fire the coach after the season is over (there might be 1-2 before that). I watch hoping Keenan Allen wins me a fantasy matchup. Clippers 30, Donkeys 19 
Philadelphia at New Orleans – If you allow 27 points to a crummy Dallas offense, what is this machine going to do to you? We’ll all get to see, as this is the national late game of the afternoon. Again, I don’t expect bad fortune to fall on this team that I hate. Aints 44, Eagles 27 
Minnesota at Chicago – This game probably decides the division winner, assuming the Packers don’t magically turn into an elite team. Both have excellent defenses, but the Vikes have shown some leaks. That’s probably the difference. Bears 23, Norwegians 16 
Kansas City at LA Rams – The Monday night games have been such yawners this year, I have developed a habit of watching for a while, then crawling into bed and tuning in to the game on my phone. Usually, the second half starts, and next thing I know I’m looking at the 4th SportsCenter replay. Best insomnia cure I’ve found yet. I expect to be glued to my laptop this week, watching this possible Super Bowl preview. The Mexico City field is trashed, so the game has been moved back to LA. The over/under is 63.5. Give me the over, please. The Rams have a little less defense than KC, so there’s the difference in this “last one with the ball wins” game. Chiefs 40, Rams 34 
Carolina at Detroit – The Lions are falling apart, especially on the offensive line. The Panthers have had extra time to seethe after getting humiliated in front of a national audience, so motivation will be high. The hole in the middle of the defense is still there, but that’s the weakest part of Detroit’s offense. The matchups seem to favor the visitors. Of course, they will allow nothing easy for themselves, but they should handle this one. PANTHERS 26, Lions 20
Last week’s record: 8-6
Season: 90-58
Bye: Buffalo, Cleveland, Miami, New England, N.Y. Jets, San Francisco