Cam Newton is now on IR. Lots of local speculation on if he will ever return as the Panthers QB. Cam said on the IG, “Charlotte and the Panthers will FOREVER BE IN MY HEART!! I will work my tail off to be stronger, faster, SMARTER, AND ACCURATER, for you guys!!” While you can’t defend his grammar, you can certainly defend his enthusiasm. Perhaps he will come back and be more winning-er for us. As for this week’s games…

LA Chargers at Oakland (Thur) – The squad that just relocated from San Diego is now rumored to be headed for London, and the team owner went into a cussin’ hissy fit to deny the rumor. If I was a Black Hole resident, I would bring a sign about the rumor to the game. If enough people do it, they could watch the visiting owner’s box to be entertained while his resurgent team is dismantling the home squad. Clippers 33, Fakers 21 

Arizona at Tampa Bay – There is a ton of offensive brainpower in this matchup, so those that like pinball game scores should be thrilled. Yuck-aneers 41, Cards 38 

Atlanta at New Orleans – Quinn inexplicably survived the bye week. I saw one talking head proclaim that this would be a close game, because the fact that it’s a division rival matters. That would be true if the talent level and week-to-week effort level were in the same hemisphere. That is not the case with this matchup. The squad that used to be called the Dirty Birds gets a new nickname in this space. Aints 48, Dead Birds 17 

Baltimore at Cincinnati – People only care because Lamar Jackson can kinda run fast and everyone wants to see if we will have the 3rd 0-16 team in history. Ravens 33, Bangles 9 

Buffalo at Cleveland – You can now add questionable play-calling to the list of woes. I thought they were past this, but they’re back to their 0-16 season name here. Buffalo, NC 20, brownie troop 10 

Detroit at Chicago – The Who Cares Game of the Week. bear cubs 19, lion cubs 16    

Kansas City at Tennessee – Mahomes is back. Too much offense to overcome. Chiefs 34, Titans 23 

NY Giants at NY Jets – I despise New York City. People from there think they are a higher life form than everyone else, and traditional media really thinks that nothing outside of NYC, LA, SF and Chicago has a right to exist. So the fact that the bigger prize goes to the loser of this matchup (higher draft pick) thrills me to no end. Little People 20, J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 19  

Miami at Indianapolis – Indy is down to its 3rd QB (if you count Neck Beard). They should still handle this matchup fairly easily. Horses 27, Fish Carcasses 10 

LA Rams at Pittsburgh – The Steelers appear to be righting the ship. But they get LA off their bye, which means their wizard coach probably got some stuff fixed. Rams 27, Steelers 24 

Minnesota at Dallas – This is the 3rd time in 4 weeks Dallas is playing in primetime. The 4th week was their bye. Yet another reason to hate them. Cowboys 31, Norwegians 24 

Seattle at San Francisco (Mon) – Well whadaya know, MNF gets the best matchup of the week. Logic says there will be a loss for SF at some point, and Seattle is a logical pick to issue it. But they have a better shot when they are the home team. 49ers 24, Seahawks 21 

Carolina at Green Bay – It’s now Kyle Allen all the way for my guys. GB got whacked last week, so my guys get them angry. Oh goody. Packers 37, panthers 16 

Last week’s record: 9-5

Season: 87-48

BYE: Denver, Houston, Jacksonville, New England, Philadelphia, Washington