Am I the only one who wants to see the whole Zeke Elliott thing END? At this point I don’t care which way it goes, just as long as it goes. If pressed to take a side, I’d probably go with Zeke. We haven’t seen it, but his lawyers say they have evidence that this lady made the whole thing up. It would hardly be the first time someone tried to get cozy with a pro athlete with a goal of walking away from the athlete with a swollen bank account and came away with swollen body parts, real and/or imagined. It is also quite clear Zeke is one of those turds who think women were put on Earth to be his personal playthings, and I hate him for that. But, one way or another, put all the evidence on the table and let’s get it over with already! On to the games:

Seattle at Arizona (Thur) – The new, high-powered Hawk offense was rendered useless by the Dead-skins, of all people. The Cards are 4-4, and their coach probably believes they would be 0-8 if it wasn’t for him. You have probably gathered by now that I don’t like the guy. Not too crazy about Seattle either. Neither squad is catching the Rams, and now we’re left wondering if we’re going to get another field goal-fest. I think it’s somewhat probable, but I’ll throw in a TD for each squad just to keep hope alive. Seahawks, 16, Bruce’s Ego

Cincinnati at Tennessee – Just when you think Cincy is done, they rise up and win. Just when you think the Nashville Boys are ready to rise, they lay an egg. Perfect scenario for an inexplicable result. Bangles 19, Titans 17

Minnesota at Washington – “YOU LIKE THAT?” You would think they might do it again, facing the same type of team – a defensive powerhouse that usually has just enough offense. But the Vikes are actually better than the ‘Hawks on defense. So no, he won’t like that. Norwegians 20, Dead-skins 16

Pittsburgh at Indianapolis – Captain Andrew Luck will tweet, “Dearest Mother – The unit fought valiantly, but the men of the Steel unit were too numerous. If only my sidearm could fire. Disappointing. Andrew.” Steelers 43, Dolts 10

NY Jets at Tampa Bay – The Who Cares Game of the Week. Jam-eese & Mike Evans aren’t playing. Jets 17, Yuck-aneers 9

Cleveland at Detroit – My brother, an Astros and Browns fan, will be able to say for the next 3 years when asked about the Browns, “Hey, my ‘Stros won the World Series!” Lions 30, brownie troop 7

LA Chargers at Jacksonville – This is the type of game the Jags mailed in the first half of the year. But they’ve actually gotten on a roll recently, and they’re not going to drop it with an opponent this inferior. Jags 23, Clippers 9


Green Bay at Chicago – The battle between a sinking ship and a sunk ship. bear cubs 17, Packers 16

New Orleans at Buffalo – I’ve become very much a fan of the team being built in Buffalo, NC. Or is it Charlotte, NY? Either way, my heart says go Bills, my head says go with the team on a 6-game roll. Aints 27, Bills 24

Houston at LA Rams – Two weeks ago, this would have been an epic showdown. With Watson down, it becomes an epic beat-down. Rams 38, Texans 14

NY Giants at San Francisco – If Lynch/Shannahan are going to avoid 0-16, THIS is the week to do it. 49ers 23, little people 14

Dallas at Atlanta – You can’t predict Cowboys games without knowing Zeke’s status for this week. Why? This is very simple. Zeke plays, Cowboys win. Zeke sits, Cowboys lose. Since prognosticators have to publish their predictions by Thursday thanks to these stupid Thursday night games, a reversal on Friday makes every prediction wrong. I propose a rule that every predictor gets automatic credit for the Cowboys games, since we usually have to predict before we know if he’s playing or not. As of Thursday at 5 PM, he’s suspended. Going off of that…. Falcons 23, Cowboys 16.

New England at Denver – What has happened to that great Broncos D? We’re still going to be asking that question on Monday. Pats 41, Donkeys 13

Miami at Carolina (Mon) – Miami got Devonte Parker back last week. Didn’t help. Carolina held Atlanta and its many weapons to 17 as the defense continues to put up 2000 Ravens-type numbers. On paper, this should be easy. NOTHING is ever easy with the home team. PANTHERS 24, Fish 20

Last week’s record: 6-7
Season: 72-60