Here we are again for NFL football. Same stuff as the college picks, only snarkier.
For example…. I use the website pixabay.com to find most of the images I use on this site. Cuz they’re free. Well, I went searching for pics for this post, and put “football” in the search box. Got a whole bunch of pictures of soccer balls – like this one here. When I saved it, I called it “Soccer Nonsense.” Yeah, I know other countries call soccer “football,” but that’s for over there. Soccer isn’t a real sport in America, regardless of what ESPN tells you. Now that I’ve got 85% of you pissed off at me, on to the picks. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Green Bay at Chicago (Thur) – Once again, everyone thinks the Green Bay QB is the greatest thing since whatever and simply by getting on the plane with his teammates, he’s going to throw for 7,000 yards, 100 touchdowns and his team is going undefeated. I’m guessing he gets hurt again – not wishing for it, just predicting it. Bears 23, Packers 21
Tennessee at Cleveland – Lots of hype around the Browns now. My dad & brother are thrilled. I’m a little biased as well, because I have the Browns defense on my fantasy team. It’s a good defense, featuring former Charlotte 49er Larry Ogunjobi. The QB is real. The Titans QB is really inconsistent. My family is happy. Browns 23, Titans 17
Kansas City at Jacksonville – Will Patrick Mahomes be a monster QB again? Probably not as much as last year, but enough. Chiefs 28, Jags 14
Baltimore at Miami – New readers will soon realize I pick 1 game to be the “Who Cares Game of the Week,” a game with boring teams and/or no real playoff ramifications. Meet your first installment. Ravens 17, Fish 13
Atlanta at Minnesota – Being a Panthers fan, I thoroughly despise anything even remotely close to Falcons, Saints or Buccaneers. So I have a rooting interest. Their super-stud receiver July… er, uh, I mean Julio, Jones is pouting like a baby because other wide receivers are getting paid more money than him. So he’s thinking about sitting out. Oh, yeah, he’s kinda sorta maybe a little sore, so it’s that he’s hurt. Yeah, let’s go with that. He and their other WR, Calvin Ridley both went to Alabama, so I have double the reason to hate both of them. Yes, this pick is completely from my heart and 0% from my head. Norwegians 27, Falcons 24
Buffalo at NY Jets – The Bills have so many former Panthers in their front office, coaching staff and roster that I refer to them as the team from Buffalo, NC. Lots of questions around NY, mainly how good is that RB after taking 2018 off? I think he’ll be pumped to be back in action and will make an impact, and will have everyone wondering. J-E-T-S jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets jets 28, Buffalo, NC 23
Washington at Philadelphia – The ‘Skins are falling into an old pattern – building a roster of rookies and very overpriced veterans. Philly’s big question is, can their QB stay healthy? Eagles 24, Dead-skins 17
Indianapolis at LA Chargers – Indy is still reeling from their QB waiting until a week before the season to retire. I understand why he quit, but he needed to do so a month earlier. I like to refer to the Chargers as the LA Clippers, because they are the Clippers of the NFL – the second team to move to LA and no one really wanted them. But they have a very good team. Clippers 31, Dolts 14
Cincinnati at Seattle – Cincy grabbed the latest offensive Wonder-boy to be their new coach. But he doesn’t have enough healthy bodies – or talent – to make waves right away. Seahawks 34, Bangles 16
Detroit at Arizona – This didn’t win WCGotW only because the Cards have that #1 draft pick people want to check out. But I did find a picture that predicts what the stands will look like by the time there are 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter. By that time everyone will have figured out that these teams aren’t very good. Cards 17, lion cubs 16
NY Giants at Dallas – The ‘Boys are the most over-hyped, over-analyzed, over-excused team every single year. Winning this game will prove nothing. Cowboys 35, Little People 13
San Francisco at Tampa Bay – Tampa’s new coach will NEVER be as good as he thinks he is. Looking forward to watching this disaster. 49ers 30, Yuck-aneers 10
Pittsburgh at New England – Here I am, stuck with Tom Brady and Julian Edelman on my fantasy team, so I pretty much have to root for these guys every week. The Steelers look a lot faster on defense, which should prevent some 45-42 score-fest from breaking out. But the Pats have a pretty good defense too. I’ll probably regret starting Brady over Kirk Cousins. Patriots 21, Steelers 19
Houston at New Orleans (Mon) – I hate the Saints more than anyone, going back to the year their defensive coordinator told his players “go for the head” multiple times during a pre-game speech. I have to wait until next week for them to get thumped. Aints 34, Texans 14
Denver at Oakland (Mon) – I would like to apologize to Terrell Owens and Randy Moss for any trash I talked about them during their careers. Antonio Brown makes y’all look like angels in comparison. My bad. Donkeys 23, Fakers 14
LA Rams at Carolina – I’ve seen a couple of talking heads pick us to win. I’m not sure our O-line can contain the Rams D-line, nor am I certain our revamped secondary can stop Jared Goff. Rams 23, Panthers 10 ☹
Last season’s record: 164-103
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