A warning to my Christian friends – there will be a few “non-Christian” words in this post. You’ll understand why.
As wave after wave of victims of the trash heap Harvey Weinstein continue to come forward, countless women on social media are posting “Me Too” to voice their own experience with sexual harassment and assault. I have seen dozens of them on Facebook. The tales are heartbreaking, devastating, cringe-worthy and sickening.
The women I am Facebook friends with are family, church friends, business associates, co-workers. All of them are people I care for deeply. I am not a crier by any means, but I have certainly been on the brink of bawling reading some of these accounts. How could you do something like this to someone as wonderful as this? I just can’t wrap my brains around how men could be capable of such evil. I have attempted to respond to each post to say how sorry I am that this happened and how much I care for them. But there are getting to be so many of them, I miss responding to some of them.
What I do for a living creates interaction with many women. As I have written in the past, administrative professionals bond faster and deeper than people in most other work functions. Most of them feel safe interacting with me because they know I’m married and am a much lower risk for inappropriate behavior. Even so, I do my best to stay above reproach. I certainly hope that if I ever display such sleazy behavior, my friends will love me enough to call me out.
Let’s explore how it has come to this. At the core is the way each gender expresses attraction. Women are attracted to what they feel, men are attracted to what they see. We all need to accept this basic truth and not waste time griping about how the other gender needs to be more like you. Women, you can call men pigs all you want, but your body is always the first thing they will notice. Men, you can moan all day about how fine you are and none of the women care, but that’s never going to be the first thing they notice.
EXAMPLE: In the early years of our marriage, the wife & I were at our best friends’ house for a Bible study. There were about a dozen people there. The husband was hosting, as his wife was finishing errands with their 2-year-old son and would be getting to the Bible study a little late. When they arrived, she instructed the son to say hello to everyone and give them hugs (teaching him to practice hospitality, as Romans 12:9-13 says). This 2-year-old boy goes around the circle and gives hugs – to all the women. I turned to my wife and said, “You see? That’s what I mean. It’s in our DNA, it’s hard-wired, and THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT!”
Knowing this, what we have to do is work with it. Ladies, please understand that when a man sees you for the first time, he is not going to have the slightest idea that you are intelligent, goal-driven, and have a fabulous sense of humor. So don’t be surprised when he makes a comment about how much he approves of your appearance.
Men, you’ve been out of puberty since you were 15. Stop acting like you are 15. Stop letting your dick do all your thinking for you. When you see a beautiful woman, stop hollering, “HOT DAMN, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!” and the like. Show a little respect. Try to get to know her without spouting off about how fine she is or what you want to do when you get her into bed. Show some interest in her as a person and put a higher priority on that than whatever sexual act is running through your head at that moment. Show some self-control for once in your damn life. I know you’ve never heard this before, but the sun does not rise and set on your trifling ass. It is NOT all about you and what you want. Women were not put on this Earth to be your toys. They are people just like you. If you don’t like people treating you like trash, then don’t treat other people like trash.
With the #MeToo movement in general, I saw a video on Facebook recently where a lady tried to sympathize with men who are worried about sexual harassment and sexual assault being lumped together when sexual assault is clearly worse. I disagree. An example: One of my friends shared her story that included people/groups that didn’t believe her, and “corporate HR” was on the list. If you are at your job and someone makes lewd or inappropriate comments toward you, and the employer allows the person to get away with it, that work environment can be hell on earth. The perpetrator can then ramp up the harassment. My friend didn’t specify when she was harassed and had corporate HR turn a deaf ear to her; if it was during the terrible economy of a few years ago, there’s no way you could dismiss her by saying, “Just get another job.” To just get another job actually hasn’t been very easy at any point of the 21st century. Imagine being stuck in a job with a co-worker who treats you like a letter to the editor of a porn magazine with no clear way out. Take it from someone who has personally experienced mental illness – it is every bit as de-habilitating as physical illness. So no, I’m not buying that harassment is less than assault.
With the #MeToo movement in general, I saw a video on Facebook recently where a lady tried to sympathize with men who are worried about sexual harassment and sexual assault being lumped together when sexual assault is clearly worse. I disagree. An example: One of my friends shared her story that included people/groups that didn’t believe her, and “corporate HR” was on the list. If you are at your job and someone makes lewd or inappropriate comments toward you, and the employer allows the person to get away with it, that work environment can be hell on earth. The perpetrator can then ramp up the harassment. My friend didn’t specify when she was harassed and had corporate HR turn a deaf ear to her; if it was during the terrible economy of a few years ago, there’s no way you could dismiss her by saying, “Just get another job.” To just get another job actually hasn’t been very easy at any point of the 21st century. Imagine being stuck in a job with a co-worker who treats you like a letter to the editor of a porn magazine with no clear way out. Take it from someone who has personally experienced mental illness – it is every bit as de-habilitating as physical illness. So no, I’m not buying that harassment is less than assault.
I would also like to point something out to all those who have said that electing Trump proves that America is OK with sexual harassment and assault because of that Trump “grab her in the pussy” video. Please keep in mind that Hillary Clinton is married to a serial rapist, and she has allowed him, and in some cases helped him, get away with it. She also has accepted many thousands of dollars from Weinstein. So electing her would have sent the same message. For the umpteenth time, this is why y’all should have voted for Gary Johnson.
Let me conclude by offering my opinion on what should happen to Weinstein. First, he should be castrated, while awake, with no anesthesia. Next, he should receive what I call the Charlie Daniels Treatment – some lyrics in his song “Simple Man” about raping, killing and child abuse: “Just take them rascals out in the swamp, Put ’em on their knees and tie ’em to a stump, And let the rattlers and the bugs and the alligators do the rest.”
Sounds good to me. Enjoy your stay in the hottest room in hell, Harvey.
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