I mentioned in a recent post that in addition to the business writings, I would post football predictions and stuff. I just won’t put a link on the business Facebook page. But as a Panthers and Auburn fan – plus all that money I paid to be a fan of UNC Charlotte athletics – I’ll post those predictions here before each week’s games, and a wrap-up after the games are completed. I will do my best to be as sarcastic and humorous as possible. You will also see I have pet names for a lot of the teams.

Duke vs ‘Bama (Atlanta) – I’m an Auburn fan, which means I wish nothing but doom on Alabama. Problem is, they’ve had the #1 or #2 recruiting class every year for the last decade, so they always have good players. Duke was never a winner until this coach came along, but he’s still light-years behind. The Evil Empire 48, Dook 7

Miami at Florida (Orlando, 8/24) – Florida is overrated, but not for this matchup. Lizards 31, Jailbird U 10

Texas State at Texas A&M (Thur) – Nice payday for the little brother school. A&M 56, TSU 14

Georgia at Vanderbilt – Why Vandy holds on to this coach is beyond me. He’s a good defensive coordinator, but that’s about it. Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 35, Vandy 10

Georgia Southern at LSU – Uh, no. LSU 41, GSU 13

Georgia State at Tennessee – UT gets to feel good for a whole week. Rocky Bottom 31, GSU 17

Louisiana vs Misipi State (New Orleans) – Kinda a road game for Misipi State, but they have a lot more players, so all should be fine. Jerry Clower U 28, Louisiana 7

Missouri at Wyoming – Mizzou tries to keep a good run going with the Clempson reject at QB. Easy start. Mizzou 33, Wyoming 13

North Carolina vs South Carolina (Charlotte) – I have friends who went to both schools. All of them are pumped. Surprisingly, 147-year-old Mack Brown is destroying the competition in NC recruiting. But it will take a little time to get them back where they were when he left for Texas about 75 years ago. Fightin’ Chickens 28, UNC 27

Misipi at Memphis – The interim-turned-permanent coach can coach. Not sure if he can recruit. Memphis scores about 200 points a game. Hard to tell what happens. I’m going with the offense. Memphis 45, Misipi 31

Portland State at Ar-Kansas – Still trying to right the ship, Chad Morris gets a Division 6 team to warm up. Pigs 56, Portland State 0 

Toledo at Kentucky – UK has been slowly rising, but they’ve been whipped badly the last 2 recruiting cycles. We probably won’t be able to tell until week 3 when the Florida Lizards come to town. Briars 28, Toledo 14

Oregon vs Auburn (Dallas) – Classic irresistible force (Ducks offense) vs immovable object (Auburn defense). Lots of folks think Auburn is going to fall flat again, and the coach will get canned. The object will get moved, but I don’t think it will get moved enough. WAR EAGLE 34, Ducks 31

BONUS: Gardner-Webb at Charlotte (Thur) – New coach Will Healy goes about 1,000 mph for 25 hours a day, 9 days a week. We have enough speed now that we might be able to speed past some people into a bowl. Some G-W students have been talking trash about an upset. Funniest stuff I’ve seen all summer. 49ers 44, Gardner-Webb 7

Last season’s record: 128-43

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