College Football Picks Week 5

I had a very bizarre dream last night. Dreamed I was in a house that was a hybrid of my mother’s last house in Ohio and my Grandma Edgar’s house. It was the middle of the night and I snuck to the basement bathroom. My brother was there, and he told me that Auburn, UAB and Charlotte had all won while I was asleep. What does that mean? “It means I just lost 14 seconds of my life reading about your lame dreams,” you are probably thinking. Can’t argue with you. But at least you will be entertained by how it affects my picks.

Misipi at ‘Bama – We’re only 2 weeks away from ‘Bama actually having to play an NCAA Division 1 team. These clowns don’t count. The Evil Empire 49, Misipi 10 

Kentucky at South Carolina – The Battle of the Under-Achievers. Both have shown a little but have largely disappointed. Edge goes to the home team. Fightin’ Chickens 23, Briars 20 

Northern Illinois at Vanderbilt – Gee, it would be awfully embarrassing to lose at home to a MAC team. And for about 50 minutes, it will be a real possibility. But even the worst SEC team is better than all the MAC teams other than Buffalo. Vandy 21, NIU 17 

Texas A&M vs Ar-Kansas (Arlington) – This used to be a fabulous game. But now, only one of the schools fields a real football team. A&M 40, Piglets 10 

Towson at Florida – As I heard some crazy man say on Twitter, “What the fresh hell is this?” Lizards 55, Towson 0 

Misipi State at Auburn – Bo Nix looks like he’s finally figuring things out. I still think the defense is not living up to the hype, which is an issue against this school and their wizard coach. I think they hold on though. WAR EAGLE 27, Jerry Clower U 24 

Florida Atlantic at Charlotte – You’re supposed to schedule a pushover for homecoming, not a preseason conference favorite. (Middle Tennessee would have been a good choice.) But FAU, because they have a big-name coach in Lane Kiffin, are always grossly overrated. Enjoying the homecoming festivities, being home and recovered from the Clempson beating, I think we show the pundits that FAU is overrated. Again. 49ers 30, FAU 28 

Last week’s record: 8-2

Season: 42-8