What a fun week last week. I injured my back & right leg and couldn’t move for a couple of days, then an ideal “My 600-Pound Life” dude stole my cell phone, and I had to endure Auburn forgetting to show up against UGA. Tua had a devastating injury, which you don’t wish on anybody, even a member of The Evil Empire. This week, we endure the new tradition of “Play A Paycheck Game The Week Before Archrival Week” in the SEC.

Western Carolina at ‘Bama – This is not a fair fight, even if ‘Bama was playing their 5th-string QB. The Evil Empire 56, WCU 0 

Tennessee St at Vanderbilt – Something tells me that after Vandy wraps up their 3-9 season, the prez and/or AD will point to this game as “progress” when electing to keep Mason as coach. The rest of the SEC can only hope. Vandy 41, ETSU 10

UT-Martin at Kentucky – This will ensure Kentucky goes bowling and that Stoops will stick around for another year of mediocrity. Briars 38, UTM 3 

Texas A&M at Georgia – Oh, look, a real football game! At least it will be for 2 ½ quarters or so. Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 31, A&M 20 

Ar-Kansas at LSU – It’s a conference game that will strongly resemble the paycheck games around the league. LSU 44, Piglets 10 

Tennessee at Missouri – This is a league game, and will be close, but the teams are definite under-achievers. Rocky Medium 27, Mizzou 20 

Abeline Christian at Misipi State – Might be even uglier than the ‘Bama game. Jerry Clower U 55, ACU 7 

Samford at Auburn – Home team will be something like a 30-point favorite, will have to play the starters late into the 3rd quarter, and everyone will shrug and say, “We’ll beat ‘Bama since they don’t have Tua.” Some of us will be wondering. WAR EAGLE 40, Samford 24 

Marshall at Charlotte – Win this one and we’re going bowling. However, Marshall is 7-3, in first place in the C-USA East Division (with FAU, who destroyed us), and just got done destroying Louisiana Tech, who is 8-2. Unfortunately, this is going to go the same way as all our games against good teams, and we’ll have to destroy a putrid Old Dominion team next week to lock down that 6th win. Thundering Herd 41, 49ers 10 

Last week’s record: 6-0

Season: 85-20