Today we conclude the look at ways to boost confidence with directive #7 (HAT TIP: I found this list on the Twitter feed Health & Wellness.) I can only speak for myself, but this has been a fun week doing this series. That being said, the last step is probably the most challenging.

Let go of past failures

We can have crazy memory at times. Good things and basic things can slide out of our brains, while things that went very wrong stay stuck in the front cell of the cranium for what seems like forever. Even if we are the most optimistic people imaginable, when things go bad in our own lives, we are much more in a mind to condemn ourselves than we ever are to anyone else. It has to be some blunder on my part that made that bad thing happen, we say in the mirror. What it all boils down to is that we must learn to forgive ourselves. Here are some ways to get that started.

 Find the positive. This may seem impossible, but it’s there. For a while, I was convinced I was The Stupidest Person On Earth for falling victim to the 2 identity thieves that posed as my first 2 VA clients. Even the most non-thinking amoeba should have seen those clowns coming and fought them off – or so I told myself. Eventually I was able to conclude that I was now better-equipped to fend off crooks going forward. And I was right. Several months later, another crook posed as a potential client, but I was able to spot it and call the “client” out by asking a few probing questions. The “client” magically disappeared, and I reported the poser to the administrator of the platform where we, uh, “found” each other. So I was better-equipped, and that is a weapon in my arsenal that I can always have as I navigate the digital world.

Attack the negative thoughts. Self-forgiveness is not a one-time deal; it’s a gradual process. Whenever self-loathing thoughts enter your mind, stop – literally – and take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Use that as expelling the negativity from your body. Attack them with positive thoughts as if you were an eagle and the negative thoughts are a fish. Kinda like this. That fish has no chance against the claws of that eagle. Similarly, negative thoughts have no chance against positive thoughts. For instance, if I hear the negative thought, “I can’t make a living as a writer; I’m not good enough.” I can attack that with the positive affirmations others have given about my writing – and fortunately for me, I’ve got a good number of people in my corner. So get outta here with that, fish!

Help others. Finally, shift your focus to others. It should only take you about 5 seconds to compose a very lengthy list of people that are in dire, life-saving need of help. Somewhere on that huge list is someone you can help. What can you do to contribute something of yourself to your fellow man, woman, or child? How can you love your neighbor and be of service to others? When the focus shifts from a “me”-centric life, to one focused on being of service to others, some ground-altering shifts occur in the mind. It’s very real and exact, and you can feel it. That’s likely because we were meant to live a life where we help others. We have so much cultural influence telling us to look out for ourselves, and that valuable things are in limited supply, and we must fight to prevent others from getting what’s “ours.” Nonsense. You will fill infinitely more fulfilled when you serve others. 

I have really enjoyed taking this deep dive into ways to boost confidence. Hopefully, you have found some useful tips to take your confidence to another level. 

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