I’m in a terrible spot and looking for humor. I’m thinking about the jokes in the media surrounding emergency calls. To wit:

  • A Charlotte morning radio show messed with a police officer who was trying to do a 9-1-1 public service announcement. He was just trying to say, “I’m police officer Donnie Pressley. In case of an emergency, you should dial 9-1-1.” They had the engineer turn the synch delay off, which makes you sound VERY goofy. They had him try to speak faster. What came out was basically all one word: “I’mPoliceOfficerDonniePressleyInCaseOfAnEmergencyYouShouldDial9-1-1-1.” OK, Donnie, try to speak more slowly. “I’m       Police          Officer          Donnie                    In          case          of          an          emergency          you          should          dial          9          1          1          1.”
  • Martin Lawrence in the first scene of a movie encounters someone on the ground. He screams, “Call 9-1-1! White man down!!!!!”
  • A lady called 911 from McDonald’s because they got her order wrong. Really. After explaining her terrible interaction with a McDonald’s employee, the baffled 911 operator asked if the caller had spoken to the manager. The caller replied, “She say she are the manager.” You think I’m making this up? See for yourself
  • In an episode of “Girlfriends,” Toni’s mother, a recovering alcoholic, is drunk at Toni’s pre-wedding party. Joan attempts to intervene and get her to lie down. She resists, and says, “I’ll call the law! I ain’t too drunk to dial 9 1… … … 1!”

This pre-occupation with 911 jokes is because I’m in somewhat of a 911 situation. Yesterday, the USB drive that contains pretty much my entire life fell apart. No, not figuratively. Literally. Fell. Apart. Check it out:

I sent these pics to my best friend who is much more savvy than me in these matters. He tells me I should be able to insert the chip (the black piece) into the port and keep it moving. I must not be holding my ears right, because it isn’t working. He’s going to have to swing by and show me. Hopefully it can get hooked up so I can transfer everything into OneDrive, then get a new USB drive and back OneDrive up with it.

Lesson learned: Always have at least TWO backups, for when one inevitably crashes on you.

At least now I’m a smarter Virtual Assistant than I was last week.